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The Temple of Ringo
Transcript singing as he walks up to the kitchen table: Sibelius. Garlic fries. Oh hey beardlovers! You caught me making a ham sandwich. I guess I'll make the sandwich and do this intro at the same time. On this Good News Day Tuesday, stock were up, and the price of oil was down. Hmm... tomato smells like salmonella. Last Good News Day Tuesday stocks were up. This Good News Day Tuesday stocks are up. Guess I control the market. Hey, here's a riddle. pictures appear on the screen: a strawberry milkshake, an eye, the Tasmanian Devil, and Stephen King See if you can figure it out. I'll give you a hint. It's what I've been doing this entire intro. First person to comment with the right answer gets a friendly e-mail from me. And the first person to make fun of how stupid the riddle is gets an angry e-mail from me. Figure it out yet? a bite of the sandwich Hmm. Tastes like salmonella too. chips and salsa intro can be seen (but not heard) under the July calendar intro. 'Wheezy Waiter Takes On July... ...5 days a week...' Modest Mouse's song "The Good Times Are Killing Me" plays over the intro. article: "Boy for Matthew McConaughey, model girlfriend." very excited reading: "Matthew McConaughey's longtime model girlfriend, Camila Alves, has given birth to the couple's first child." Matthew McConaughey's voice: "We are both tired and elated, and so happy to have created the greatest miracle in the world -- having a child and making a family. Now comes the greatest adventure..." The greatest adventure? Is he talking about this? from Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom: Wu Han: I've followed you on many adventures... but into the great unknown mystery, I go first, Indy." dies guy: "Don't be sad Dr. Jones, very soon you will join him." Oh no, that's not it. He's talking about high school girls. from Matthew McConaughey in Dazed and Confused: "I get older. They stay the same age. hahaha." "Yes they do." "Yes they do." article: "Ringo Starr celebrates 68th in Chicago." Happy birthday Ringo. But despite being one of only two remaining Beatles, you're still the ugly one. by side photos of Paul McCartney and Ringo Starr Actually, I'm not so sure. I read the following headline and immediately breathed a sigh of relief. It's good news for Iran because they get three of our most valuable resources. And it's good news for us because we get rid of three of our most tempting addictions. article: "U.S. exports cigarettes, bras, bull semen to Iran." I can quit anytime I want. And finally some good news from our stupid leaders. article: "Richest nations pledge to halve greenhouse gas. President Bush and leaders of the world's richest nations pledged Tuesday to 'move toward a low-carbon society' by cutting greenhouse gas emissions in half by 2050." 2050? I'll only be 70. Or dead. In unrelated news, President Bush urges Americans to double their energy usage until 2049, then go back to normal. Figure out the riddle yet? the four pictures again: a strawberry milkshake, an eye, the Tasmanian Devil, and Stephen King Alright, Ed, it's time. pictures of Ed winking (ding) (ding) dot com outro If you'd like to wink at the end of one of my movies, send me a picture or a video. Just click the contact button on wheezywaiter dot com. Recurring themes beardlovers, Good News Day Tuesday, headlines, wink References to other videos The "Sibelius, Garlic Fries" song comes from Wheezy's video The Magnificent Levin Song The "Sibelius, Garlic Fries" song comes from Wheezy's video The Magnificent Levin Modest Mouse's song "The Good Times Are Killing Me" plays over the intro.